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Chapter Something: The Big Leap

The following is an excerpt from a book I haven’t written yet, about my first big plunge as an entrepreneur, and the difficulties in leaving a stable job for the unknown. Enjoy!

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As I stared at my resignation letter, many thoughts and feelings rushed through my head. Should I hit send? Is now the right time? Will it ever be the right time?

I had been thinking about it for weeks, months, or maybe even the entire time I’ve been here. It was always the plan to eventually leave — the only question was when. But until now it had always just been a little itch in the back of my head. It was always a few months away, maybe even years. But in the past few weeks I had hit a point of desperation, where it seemed like my only step forward.

So why is it I was having such a hard time hitting the send button?
I had toyed with setting up the email to automatically deliver on a certain date, at a certain time. That way my inaction to cancel the script would result in my resignation. A cheap trick to see how serious I really am about the whole thing. But I never set up the script. Yet now, as I sit at my desk, mouse hovering over the send button I still have my doubts. 

My hand slipped. 

The mouse skittered away from the send button, as erratic as a fruit fly. 

Why couldn’t I do it? I read the letter again. Did I phrase it right? I didn’t want to burn any bridges. I doubt it would’ve mattered if I did. But as a matter of principle, I wanted to leave on good terms. Even though I doubt I’ll ever come back. 

Two weeks notice would set me free in early November. What would I do for those two weeks? Can I even put in two weeks of work in my current state? As I saw it, no. But if I don’t hand in the resignation, I’m just wasting my time here anyway — and the company’s time. Maybe I owe it to them to leave.

Maybe they’d accept only a one week notice.

As I pondered my options my eyes drifted up the grey cubicle walls. I used to have them covered in certificates, pictures, and reference materials, but ever since I moved desks a few months ago I had never got around to putting them back up. All but one. I had my newspaper article posted as a reminder of what I could be capable of, if I only tried. The headline read:

“Far-out engineering projects energize him”. 

It wasn’t like we didn’t do cool projects here at work. But I was never a real part of them — it’s just the nature of big companies — can’t make everyone happy. I always volunteered to run tours through the company though. As I would lead groups of professionals or students through the halls I’d explain energetically about all the wonderful technology we were creating and the power of innovation. 

Was it a lie? 

No. I really did love this company — ever since I had my first co-op here I had thought, this is a great place to work. And it has been. I guess it’s just not for me anymore. 

My hand shifted. My eyes refocused. The mouse hovered over the send button once again.

I pressed down on the mouse. It made a satisfying *click*.

The decision was made.

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My last day of working for “the man” was November 11th, 2015.  My friends and coworkers were very supportive of my decision, recognizing I can and will do more working for myself — and maybe even make a difference in this world:


Since my last day, I’ve focused on expanding my own business ventures, and things have gone surprisingly well.

I look forward to 2016 and what new adventures it will bring me! Happy Holidays!

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